Understanding Grief and Loss

“I am at the epicentre of this earthquake.”  - Bonnie

When Bonnie’s husband of 41 years, Ray, died in 2013, she likened her experience of grief to an earthquake. As his wife, she was at its epicentre and her life needed the most rebuilding. Their three children, friends and others grieved, but they experienced the tremors and were less intensely affected.   

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“I miss her so much… Sometimes I feel guilty wondering if this is how a mother takes care of a child? But I’m not a mother, I’m a father.”   - Hamayun

When Hamayun’s wife died in 2014, he grieved her loss while adjusting to his new role as single parent of their teenage daughter and 2-year-old son.

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Grief support is an unmet need for too many Canadians.  To help address this need, the Canadian Virtual Hospice in cooperation with national and international grief experts, family members who have “been there” and pan-Canadian partners have developed MyGrief.ca.  This free online resource helps people understand and work through their loss from the comfort of their home and at their own pace.

Bonnie, Hamayun and others share their very personal stories of loss and healing after the death of a spouse, partner, child, parent or sibling. They offer practical advice, insights and describe finding their way through grief to acceptance, peace, and newfound strengths.

Divided into nine sections, MyGrief.ca enables people to find the information they are seeking quickly. Its topics include recognizing how grief affects you before and after death; facing emotions such as sadness, loneliness, anger, guilt and fear; managing situations that trigger grief; managing family dynamics; dealing with unhelpful comments and unwanted advice; and creating a life without the person who died. 

MyGrief.ca answers common questions such as “When will I be over my grief?” and “What’s the right way to grieve?”  (Answers: You never get over loss; you learn to live with it. There is no single “right” way to grieve.)  It explains the difference between grief and depression and the signs that someone might be stuck in their grief.  It recognizes that sometimes death comes as a relief when the relationship was difficult or the dying process long and hard.

MyGrief.ca was developed by the Canadian Virtual Hospice in collaboration with a pan-Canadian team of family members and grief experts including Dr. Robert Neimeyer, renowned international grief expert. Funding was provided by the Canadian Partnership Against Cancer. 

Canadian Virtual Hospice (virtualhospice.ca and portailpalliatif.ca) is the most comprehensive online source of evidence-based information on palliative and end-of-life care, loss and grief in the world. It serves people living with advanced illness, family members, health care providers, educators and researchers.